Last month was such a busy month with Mother's Day, the Memorial day holiday and prom season. It provided yet another opportunity to view relationships. And I began to chuckle as I was able to bear witness to an estranged couple that were involved in a relationship that ended over 40years ago. Surprisingly, the animosity still exists. When I questioned him, he has no clue what he did. But she seethes and you can tell the pain and hurt are still present and are just as fresh as they were when whatever happened occurred. Unfortunately, because children are involved there are choices to be made. Stand next to Dad or sit next to Mom. Incredibly the families have grown so accustomed to the behavior only outsiders feel uncomfortable. It got me to thinking, some relationships are forever and some are for growing. Whatever it is, be a better woman because of it not a bitter one. Everything done on this Earth has purpose. Life's journey includes finding out what that is. I am 100% in favor of marriage forever don't get me wrong but sometimes we have to be mindful of the relationship choices that we made. For example, years ago I had a very close male friend. I called him my male best friend and we got along great. So great in fact we thought since we were "best friends" we should get married. Why not? Disaster!!! It took time to get back to the friendship we shared but we both become better persons from what we learned in that relationship. He now has a wonderful wife whom he loves and I am happily married to my husband. But there are people holding on to their hurt and bitterness like a cancer and have lived with it so long, they probably don't know how to experience life otherwise. It can be all consuming and prevent new possibilities for love and happiness. Let it GO!!! Let God's love comfort you and saturated those broken areas. Can you imagine carrying a stinky, dirty, rotten piece of meat around with you everywhere you go?
That is what unforgiveness and bitterness are. Most have forgotten what made them pick up that smelly, stinky, rotten thing in the first place.
So think about it. In all you do, trust in the Lord as stated in Proverbs 3:4-5; with all your heart and He will direct your path.
What do you think about it? Are you better from a past relationship? Or are you still bitter? No longer able to love or trust?
Let me know by leaving a little note on the Desk of a Real wife....
This post hits close to home for me. I appreciate how you acknowledge that we can still whole heartedly believe marriage is for life. That was certainly the belief and commitment I made some 23 years ago. However, at some point when vows are continuously broken and trust, respect and loyalty have gone out the window, then reevaluation is in order. I believe love starts out as a feeling then becomes a choice. When there is lack of commitment, that is a choice not to love. The bitterness arises when dreams of the future have ended. Promises have been broken. Hearts are crushed Unmet expectations. I trust in time with prayer God will soften my heart. I know I sure don't want to feel this way in 40 years...
ReplyDeleteYou know my husband mentioned today about boundaries in marriage and how when we loosen them or overlook them, poor choices are the result. I want to leave a scripture with you that God shared with me. In Matthew the 13th chapter, the parable of the wheat and the weeds. When not looking, they began to grow together. So we have to pray for the strength to recognize those weeds and pull them up by their roots and burn them. Because with love, trust and commitment (WHEAT), also can present insecurities, distrust, and brokenness(WEEDS). My prayer also is that your heart will soften. Faithfully I know it will. In brokenness God can restore and recreate a phenomenal woman. Not bitter but better.
ReplyDeleteBlessings
This article has been printed and will now be on my wall. The last picture hits home so good that even as the tears trickle down, I cannot but say the following 2 words to you - Thank you and God bless.
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