Breaking up Made me Better not Bitter....

Last month was such a busy month with Mother's Day, the Memorial day holiday and prom season. It provided yet another opportunity to view relationships. And I began to chuckle as I was able to bear witness to an estranged couple that were involved in a relationship that ended over 40years ago. Surprisingly, the animosity still exists. When I questioned him, he has no clue what he did. But she seethes and you can tell the pain and hurt are still present and are just as fresh as they were when whatever happened occurred. Unfortunately, because children are involved there are choices to be made. Stand next to Dad or sit next to Mom. Incredibly the families have grown so accustomed to the behavior only outsiders feel uncomfortable. It got me to thinking, some relationships are forever and some are for growing. Whatever it is, be a better woman because of it not a bitter one. Everything done on this Earth has purpose. Life's journey includes finding out what that is. I am 100% in favor of marriage forever don't get me wrong but sometimes we have to be mindful of the relationship choices that we made. For example, years ago I had a very close male friend. I called him my male best friend and we got along great. So great in fact we thought since we were "best friends" we should get married. Why not? Disaster!!! It took time to get back to the friendship we shared but we both become better persons from what we learned in that relationship. He now has a wonderful wife whom he loves and I am happily married to my husband. But there are people holding on to their hurt and bitterness like a cancer and have lived with it so long, they probably don't know how to experience life otherwise. It can be all consuming and prevent new possibilities for love and happiness. Let it GO!!! Let God's love comfort you and saturated those broken areas. Can you imagine carrying a stinky, dirty, rotten piece of meat around with you everywhere you go? That is what unforgiveness and bitterness are. Most have forgotten what made them pick up that smelly, stinky, rotten thing in the first place. So think about it. In all you do, trust in the Lord as stated in Proverbs 3:4-5; with all your heart and He will direct your path. What do you think about it? Are you better from a past relationship? Or are you still bitter? No longer able to love or trust? Let me know by leaving a little note on the Desk of a Real wife....

Promise to...

Promises, promises.... When posing the question to myself, I begin to realize that the sentiment isn't true that promises are meant to be broken. Broken promises lead to broken hearts. Often we minimize the significance of keeping one's word. Whether it's the promise never to leave or do that again, or that this won't hurt or even I will pay you back; A promise is a promise. In marriage we promise to love, honor and cherish. We promise through thick and thin, through good and bad, for richer or poorer. But when the relationship thermostat gets turned up, "That's it! Deuces we are out!" But what about the promise we made? Personally, I have spent time soul searching to determine why do promises mean so much to me in my life? I figured out it has nothing to do with separation anxiety or committment issues, it is just a standard ingrained by years of living with my grandmother. "If you give your word, then keep it! It is all you have. Your word is something that money can't buy." This principle should be important to every woman married or single. When we choose to make a promise we need to be honest with ourselves first and foremost. It's easy to agree or promise to do ANYTHING when emotions are in control. Promise to love, to cook (or at least learn how to), or to forgive. Whatever the promise may be, remember to keep it. Not doing so can break the heart of someone you love. And that person may be you.... Just something to ponder on as you read this little note from the desk of a real wife.