Sunday, May 13, 2012

Hello everyone, we humbly apologize for the hiatus but as we began this spiritual endeavor it was governed in our hearts to only speak as led by the Holy Spirit. This week has been an emotionally bittersweet one. One member of our team decided on leaving our city to embark on a new adventure in another state, but thank goodness for high speed Internet( she can work from anywhere). And another is launching her own blogspot. We are so excited for both but will miss them terribly. As Mother's day quickly approached us I began to revisit the thought of the first relationship that most have, with their mother. From that all other ideas and theories about relationships are formed. Whether it was good, bad or absent that relationship helped mold how you relate to others. The bible tells us in Ephesians 5:1 Therefore be imitators of God as dear children, and walk in love as Christ also had loved us and given Himself for us an offering and a sacrifice to God for a sweet-smelling aroma. I remember imitating my mother as a young child, wanting to wear her shoes, wishing I had an Afro as big as hers( it was the 70's y'all)! Then as a teen saying to myself I am never going to be like her when I grow up!! Much to my chagrin, looking at myself in the mirror I look like my mother. When hearing how I speak to my children I sound like my mother! The bible shares with us to be imitators of Christ. In all things, in all ways. Don't try to be just like Mike, strive to be like Christ. So to all the mothers that follow our blogspot, Happy Mother's day!! Enjoy. Remember the sweet smelling aroma that described our Lord Jesus Christ. Kiss the babies that honor you. Hug the husband, baby daddy or significant other (just keeping it real!!) that will pay homage to you. You are so deserving of the love. And no matter what relationship you had with your mother, love you so that you can love others. Remember the best times and the sweet smelling aroma. If it was all good then share that with someone else who may not have the fondest of memories so that they may grow in love. Happy Mother's Day From the Desk of a Real Wife

13 comments:

  1. I Love Your Blog,it has great ,helpful content but you dont post as many stories as I would like ! will you be doing more ? I think that if you posted more often you would have more followers ??? thanks ,when is your next story going to be posted ?? I am a wife but my husband is not talking to me nore does he pay me much attention ,I wore a beautiful new dress last week and he didnt even notice ,BUT his friend did ?? and it makes me feel wanted ,so I have been taking dinners with his friend,we havent done anything YET but I want to ?? maybe you can speak to us married women who arent getting what we need at home ,so were looking else where ?? His friend tells me IM beautiful all the time ,I can remember the last time my husband said that to me.please advice!!!! Anonymous Wife....

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    1. Hello Anonymous Wife,
      Thank you so much for following. I will return to weekly posts, yeah!!, I have been in prayer about it. I may not post to Facebook or other social network sites to alert of new posts but know that it's going to happen. Also know that I do check the blogs more frequently so don't hesistate to post a comment and know I will respond. Again thanks again for following. Be blessed.

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  2. Anonymus Wife- I cant remember the last time he said that to me .....Im with his friend now, and Im thinking of leaving my husband for him ,my husband thinks im at a womens breakfast with church women but honestly they act as if their unions are perfect and I dont want to seem like the devil if I ask for help ?? but I dont know what to do ,my husband finally admits last night were not as close as we were but his friend is always here and all I can think of his him!! I think it may be to late for me and my husband.

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    1. So much I want to say to you but 1st and foremost.. Pump your brakes!!!! The enemy can only tempt you with what God will allow. God knows that you are hurting and are vulnerable but He also knows your strength that's why you reached out. Now in marriage there are many seasons. Hopefully you live in an area that you can witness them but if not imagine what each looks like. You are in the anticipated spring. Vibrant with vitality wishing for someone to notice your full bloomed flowers and enjoy the fragrance that they exude. Your husband does notice and he may possibly be bragging to his friends that's why his friend is on high alert with keen sensitivity to your scent! Stay away!! I don't know if his "friend" is married but if he is and RESPECTS you and your marriage then he is just being nice. Don't allow the lack of attention that you may feel right now to enact a future of pain and embarrassment. 2nd when your husband says you're not as close that speaks volumes. That shows he is still sensitive to what you're feeling. And in tune to your needs. That's wonderful. That is an open door for counseling and your marriage can evolve and grow. I don't know if at your church they offer counseling with your pastor or if they have a Couple's Ministry but look into it. It's not too late. Also find a couple with a healthy marriage and connect with them to be your mentors. Pray God will send them. Next, let me give you the Real ALL couples go through something. Couple are often in different stages in their marriage. Some couples choose to openly display the ups and downs. Others do not. No marriage is perfect because we are NOT perfect people. We just choose to work at it daily. Learn what works and what doesn't And make a conscious effort to stick at it. Lastly, distance yourself from that friend. Yes, he may only just trying to be nice but the enemy can use Anybody!! Until you and your marriage are less vulnerable keep your distance. Keep me posted. I will be praying for your success.

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    2. Anonymous Wife- He is not married but not single , how do I stay away from him when he is the only man showing me attention ? I dont think I want to stay with my husband,he wouldnt notice anyway..:( if I took my thing out of this house right now ,it would take him over a month to notice why should I go back to that , his friend calls me ,treats me good,even makes me feel better when my husband ignors me ? if I let him go I wont have anyone except a man Im not sure loves me or not ! I dont think hes cheating ,I just dont think he cares ,we were so in love for so many years and then one day he just forgot I was here..and it breaks my heart ,I brought up consling but we do not attend church on a consistant basis,we did bt the church became "hollywood" so we no longer came because we were leaving empty . I dont trust talking to other couples because their not honest. Maybe god intended his friend to be my husband and I just made a mistake ?? right now I want to leave!! our kids are grown,whats the harm in just leaving! I dont want to stay away from him. thank you for your advice ,its such a breath of Fresh Air to have someone be honest,and I understand we are not perfect but I just want to be loved, my husband no longer loves me.....

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    3. This is such a remarkable time in your life! So much so I discussed this with my husband to get a male perspective. Your husband's friend at first I thought possibly he was being a friend, because like all good Christians I extend the benefit of the doubt. Reading further he is not a friend., he is a PREDATOR!!! True friends look out for their friends. He is Not a friend to you and definitely NOT to your husband. Biblically, in the old testament we are warned not to covet or lust after another man's wife. And in the new testament , Jesus reminds us that in Mark 10:8-10, and the two will become one flesh. So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore, what God has joined together let man not separate. That's what your " friendly predator" is attempting to do.
      I know it can be difficult not receiving the consistent attention that you crave right now from your husband but have you tried to discuss this with your husband? Sharing this with your husband can unleash an uncharted territory in your marriage. You stated your children are now grown, so what new interests can you and your husband begin to develop and share? Let me tell you if you leave your husband for the friend you will be disappointed, because if he is so GREAT why is he still single??? Some men like temporary wives. Borrowed wives. Noncommittal fantasy wives. Something to think about. Also, true friends help you out, don't confuse you and make you wonder about a way out. Keep me posted. Also, food for thought, how often do you express to your husband the wonderful things that he does? You might have to lead by example. The Rev and I are praying for you both.

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  3. I want to read more stories,Ive been telling my sister that my self ,thank you for confirmation!...As a single women I cant answer those questions but Im sure she can ...

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  4. I love you Baby Sis. Get ready.....Upcoming Because of it I am a Better woman not a Bitter woman!!!

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  5. Anonymous Wife- Im so glad you will be posting weekly ,your blog has been such a blessing and a breath of fresh air because I can tell by the way you write that its coming from your heart ,and for no other reason but because you care. Please be encouraged to continue ,and I know I have no place to minister because of my integrity at the [resent time but God used a donkey so I guess I can say ,I have came back to yor blog many times in need of a word ,just waiting on a new post to get me through the week or the day ,there are real wives like me waiting to hear someone else is understanding of where they are ,please continue to post ,it helps so much...Real Wives in Real life...

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  6. @ Anonymous,the hardest thing to do in a difficult emotional state is communicate. With communication and finances, not necessarily in that order, being the two greatest causes for divorce, you have to pray for the courage to communicate. While you don't have to tell your husband about the "FRIEND", you should be honest about how you feel, and allow him to respond. After all, you may find that he does care. As for the "FRIEND", he's not much of a friend to your husband, because if he was, he'd be pushing you toward your husband instead of pulling you away. With him in another relationship, he'll only hurt you further, because once you commit your body to the inappropriate relationship, he will surely change after. Besides, if he got you this way, and you moved him away from his current relationship, neither of you will ever solidify your trust in each other, because of how you came together. Just a few thoughts...Communicate!

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    1. Exactly. See thanks for the confirmation. Oftentimes we don't openly share our experiences with those that are openly hurting. That's how the enemy gains strength against those in the kingdom of God. Notice I didn't say victory but strength. We all should pray strength and a hedge of protection around this couple any time they cross your mind.

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  7. This reinforces the fact that we as mothers have strive to be more like Christ since we have such a major impression on our children. Good word!!!

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